Make It Work
Twas a regular Saturday, and there I was procrastinating, minding my business watching season two of Netflix’s “Big Mouth’ and noticing how the hormone monsters show up at the worst possible times for these poor characters. I mean these kids will just be there doing normal thirteen-year-old stuff (like swearing 30 times per minute) and then here they come and they don’t come quietly. These things are loud and huge, they are meant to be seen but, somehow no one sees them but the unfortunate soul they’re assigned to. Then I started thinking, this reminds me of something. Then it hit me like awkward silence….anxiety.

Let’s get scientific for a quick minute. According to our old reliable friend Wikipedia, “anxiety disorders are a group of mental disorders characterized by significant feelings of anxiety and fear. Anxiety is a worry about future events, and fear is a reaction to current events.”

It is not coincidental that anxiety and asshole begin with the same letter because it is. It puts this irrational fear in you that you can never completely shake. I like to compare it to the hormone monsters in Big Mouth because just as the respected hormone monsters pop up at the most inopportune times and mess everything up, my anxiety does too on a daily basis. It happens for the most random reasons. Perfect example, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw that this famous YouTuber recently bought a house at 20 years old. My first thought was “ok, great for her!” Then this bastard shows up (should I call it that? I’m going to call it that.). With it, comes worry and fear, along with questioning yourself. Why can’t I have that? Will I ever have that? OMG, what if I never amount to anything and I’m stuck in my parents’ basement for the rest of my life. I’m going to die a failure.

Anxiety is like an unwanted boner. Anything and damn near everything can trigger it. OOoo boobs!
Boner! OOo a fresh slice of pizza. Boner! OOO a 23-year-old influencer just bought a mansion and a Mercedes. Unsolicited panic attack! You get the point. I’ll just be minding my magical business and one thought, one stupid thought and here it comes bursting through walls in all its obnoxious glory. It is not so much the nervousness associated with my anxiety that sucks; that eventually goes away. It is fear. The fear lingers. You feel like you’ll never get anything done. Every idea sucks because you don’t know how to make it happen. You should know right?

Let’s go back to the definition, “worry of future events.” Worrying about things that we think are outside of control. It is often said that we can’t control the future but, we can control the present. I call bullshit. We have control over our future based on how we react and the things we do right now. It would be so lovely if I could say that fearing the future is useless and irrational, yet here we are.

It is the fear of not knowing that brings forth anxiety. You begin to question yourself and your purpose in this world. You wonder why you’re here. What’s the point? You wonder if this is as far as you’ll ever go in life. You wonder if success is just not in your future.
That escalated quickly right? Well, that’s just what anxiety feels like on bad days. It feels like that annoying insect that you can never kill. It’s just constantly buzzing around and ruining your peace of mind. It’s constantly there and you don’t know how to make it go away.

So now, I’m thinking since it won’t leave you might as well figure out how to make it work. Now, hear me out, I haven’t completely lost my mind. This idea is a work in progress but, think about this: a side effect of anxiety is that you are hyper-focus on one thing for hours, even days at a time. Do you know what else does that? Adderall. This is basically a drug used to treat ADHD in a medical sense and used to write a 10-page paper in one night in college sense. It essentially gives whoever takes it the ability to focus on one thing and one thing only for hours. If you suffer from anxiety, I’m going to assume your brain does that all on its own. What if you could figure out how to harness that same energy and use it for your betterment? Imagine instead of being up at 4 am on weekday obsessing over something you said or did hours ago, you used that energy to do something productive. I mean why shouldn’t you? This thing lives in your brain rent free, so why not let it do housekeeping and cut the grass and shit.
Featured image from Big Mouth © Netflix

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